by Ralph Allora

1. Your site’s homepage experience opens with a seizure-inducing Flash animation sequence.

2. And includes loud, new-age music that starts on auto-play.

3. And contains the words, “Welcome to our website!”

4. While the content on your home page is loading, visitors can go and eat a sandwich and return in time to see the last photo appear.

5. The font is Comic Sans.

6. Or Papyrus.

7. Your site contains either a stock photo of people in suits shaking hands (B2B site) or a photo of the staff posed next to a delivery truck, smiling and giving thumbs up (B2C site).

8. Your e-commerce product display looks like an early Sears catalog.

9. Your site includes a link to your brand’s MySpace page.

10. And a link to your AOL email address.

Ralph Allora is co-founder and marketing director of TRAY Creative, a Seattle-based creative agency specializing in brand identity, marketing campaigns and web solutions for forward-looking companies and nonprofits.